Sunday, August 12, 2007

Still in San Antonio!

Well I'm still here in San Antonio! I'm surprised I have lasted this long. It's been rough trying to maintain my sanity with all of the crap I've been dealing with since the last time I posted. Before I get into all of that, here's a recent picture of Ms. Sunshyne shining brightly!

Just to get yall up to speed, last November I found out that I was pregnant and had a mini-nervous break-down, which happened to be the same month that I took on a new job because writing wasn't gettin it. After about four months of depression from both the pregnancy and trying to mustar the energy to arrive at work everyday, I finally began to let reality set in. With a new burst of energy from that second trimester hormone dip I began to start perrusing the infant isles at popular department stores, and actually began to feel better.

Just when all began to look up for me, I got arrested! I won't tell the reason, but believe me when I say it was the stupidiest reason to arrest a pregnant woman you can imagine. After spending a day and a half in the county jail, which you can probably imagine felt like a month, I was released. However, the effects of dealing with the county judicial systems follows you for awhile. I then had to pay all of these fees and bail money, which sucked my pockets dry for the next two months (installments- a gift and a curse).

Any way, I returned to work trying to put all that had happened behind me when, my young 2 year vet from college, supervisor withheld my mileage check! As you can probably imagine we had words, which lead to a meeting with the program director and then a private meeting between myself and the executive director of my program. When the smoke cleared, I received what was due to me, but all of the stress from the situation is the point of all this writing.

On May 07,2007 my little newborn son died. I have been mourning his death for about three months now and it continues to come in waves. I can't seem to find a way past it. I thought if I try to put more energy into work I could hide from it or at least push it to the back of my mind for a while. Did I mention that I am a Parent Educator, working with parents and babies to provide developmental information. Well, I do! I work with babies all day everyday and it is torture for me.

Anyway, the nightmare didn't stop there. Two weeks later my mother had a severe heart attack and need triple bypass surgery. I had to jump in my car and drive all the way to Michigan for the second time, and believe me that trip sucks!

As you can probably imagine, It has been particularly difficult to do any of the things that I enjoyed last year. I haven't really been able to homeschool Sunshyne the way that I have wanted to and do many of the things that I would like to do with her. I guess that is why I am writing this post, because I need to get back to the things that I enjoy in life and continue with the things that I want to do. Even if I can't do them often, I can still enjoy the occasional luxury and isn't that what it's all about.