Every time I speak to family and friends from Michigan, they ask about the weather here in San Antonio. I always reply, "Hot as HELL" in a very serious and exhausted voice. Every one in Michigan knows that it is an unnatural phenomenon to endure temperatures above 85 degrees. Yet here I am melting in triple digit heat.
My solution to surviving the crazy heat of San Antonio is simple, I take heed to the old cliche "while in Rome do as the Romans do". So here's Claudea's guide to surviving the heat.
Survival Tip #1:
I noticed the moment that I arrived in San Antonio that all of the people here have very dark tinted windows. I was surprised to see this because in Michigan it is illegal to have tint, whereas you can not see into the car on all surrounding windows. However, I quickly learned that this is a survival technique that is definitely necessary. Not to mention it looks cool if your going for that Mafia gangsta look.
Survival Tip #2:
When I was a young girl I use to watch old movies with my mother, such as "Gone With The Wind" and think something like "ooh look at those pretty umbrella's that the girls are holding...where can I get one". Little did I know that this was a survival technique cleverly disguised as the modern day fashion. Well I have one word for you... PARASOL! What? You don't have one of those fancy 19th century parasols? Well, don't worry cause the regular old average joe umbrella will work. One word of advice...Grab a big one!
Survival Tip #3:
Don't you just love it when your skin has that smooth, baby's bottom feel to it. The kind of feel that makes you just want to rub on your own self. Well, Maybe not on yourself. San Antonians seem to have some of the smoothest skin I have ever seen. I've been wondering where I could get some of that smooth skin for myself. Then it came to me as I was turning in to a crispy chip frying under the sun. "I Need Some Sunscreen!" an epiphany had taken me in its arms and said to me "child this is why the San Antonio people have not burned into ashes" They must slather the stuff on by the bottle to maintain the beautiful, smooth glow that they all seem to have. So now I'm buying it by the crate.
Survival Tip #4
Can you say "AQUA" that's right folks, water is your best friend in this kind of heat. Drink it, splash it, submerge yourself in it, what ever it takes but as sure as you need air to breathe you're going to need a close relationship with water.
I have managed to stay alive in this heat by observing and using common sense. If you decide to check out San Antonio, Don't bother to ask "how's the weather?" cause it's "Hot as HELL", just do as the San Antonians do!